I was in Bryan recently to file a late tax return.
Income tax, I mean.
Very late.
I had mailed my estimated tax with an extension request a year ago in April.
But, I never filed the return. I didn’t think they would care because I had paid my tax.
There should be a bumper sticker – "Don’t mess with IRS."
I got a letter telling me they couldn’t apply the tax I’d sent them to my "account" until I filed the return.
Seemed logical.
So, I gathered up the data and headed for a CPA.
The CPA didn’t have air conditioning in the room where the tax was figured. The agent had never filed a return exactly like mine.
I took three and one half hours to slog through the return.
Then came the bill. I don’t mean what I owed IRS, and it was plenty more than my calculations had come up with.
I mean the bill for figuring the taxes.
Tax preparation has gone up. I was charged up to $42 a page for the preparation. I guess I don’t have to tell you I had a virtual book.
I somehow had managed to make less income in 1998 than I had in several years’ but ended up paying way more in taxes, not to mention the cost of the return.
Aren’t CPAs supposed to save us money?
You know, take every legal deduction. Every time I mentioned a deduction I was told I couldn’t take it.
I was so upset by the amount of tax I owed, which was 10 times the amount I had already paid that I drove straight to the nearest lottery retailer and bought three tickets.
How else was I to pay the taxes IRS wanted "now."
I had a small win. But I was so devastated I tore up the winning ticket and went back to the retailer with the two non winners.
Then I sat in the hot sun in the cab of the truck and cried.
I called my husband and said, "I have terrible news."
He said, "You blew the engine again in the truck."
"No," I said. "I owe my soul to IRS."
"Oh, is that all," he answered. "Don’t worry about it. They can’t get blood out of a turnip."
I submit that I have personally known three people who got behind in their tax payments to IRS.
Two had their home, cars, even their clothing taken.
The third is in a federal penitentiary.
I am absolutely positive.
Even a turnip will bleed for IRS.